Regret being a father reddit. We could talk for hours about life.
He would then point out how grandma managed with five kids. No, reddit didn't tell me to sleep with him again. that's why Gendo says in 3. Even if your ex is nasty about it, YOU don't have to be. Especially if they stay absent for years. I used to take longer to get home from work some nights because I saw him as a hassle. I also kept hearing "it gets better", but everyone (and every baby) is different. This was something that was discussed between us in our relationship regarding her expectations of me towards her children. We could talk for hours about life. Even now, as I am on my 4th career, I am keeping an eye open and evaluating when/how to jump ship. But it's not that you wished you had children, but that you wished you got involved in your community sooner. If I still was doing billable hours, I would likely be filled with regret. Which in a sense makes him no more worthy to be a father to Atreus, than Zeus was for Kratos. And by abandoning the child, instead of working on your own hangups, you're probably creating some serious self-esteem issues in the kid. This approach generated 12 threads from six different subreddits I've been struggling (40M) on the dating scene as a single father, between being a dad and trying to spread my attention/time between my 2 young daughters and a partner it just seems like it's never enough. This is a microcosm of the insane genius that is Bill Watterson. My wife always wanted to get married and I cared enough about her to put my differences aside and get married. My blinders for my feelings towards Matt has really caused some real issues for me and my family and I know that's my own fault and no one else's. Three words to describe my financial situation: Constantly concerned, careful. I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. You don't have enough life perspective to even consider that being an option, your dad is your dad, it's hard to think of him as an independent person with his own life until you're older. I feel like my husband feels this same way, I truly wish he would get in his car and leave. the day before this post I made another post called "I regret being a stepdad" and I regret it. 35 votes, 20 comments. My dad doesn't share his life with me unless I manage to pry a small story out of him. But for real, I don't know many stay at home dads, but I know a fair amount of dads who work for themselves (handyman etc) and they have dad groups but they're just not called dad groups. My dad never wanted kids and it's really obvious now that I'm older, but I never would have thought that at age 6. Granted it’s only the first day but we are wracked with so much guilt and regret. Not the most gut wrenching but the father from Second Life of a Trash Princess, he got his ass handed to him in the first chapters and has spent the majority of the story's runtime trying to get the FL to forgive him and to make up for being a shitty father. The Emperor can be defeated. 2 days ago · 4. No matter what wrong decision ions you took back then, they also brought you to the moments where you choose right. He became very ill and passed when I was in my late twenties. We both agree that if we had gotten together 10 years ago, we would probably have been willing to try and start a family. I made my decision. He was a physically active, engaged father. Kind of an obvious statement, but life is suffering. I regret not finishing my novel, not travelling the world. I was young and inexperienced and overwhelmed. By David Ingram. And while dwelling on regrets is not a healthy way to go about life, it is helpful to interrogate them and extract lessons where We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. This sub is full of parents who regret being parents. But I can list all the things Christianity and church has taken from me. 0 + 1. Contracts, handymen, and practically anyone who works on your Reddit wants to act like being childfree is something that no one ever regrets or feels sad or has mixed feelings about or feels like something is missing, but this is the truth, at least for a lot of us. Edit: I want to add that my SO knows that I have absolutely no plans on being any type of stepparent to her children. So I took my dad’s advice and applied to five random tech jobs (no money to apply to uni, although based on marks I should have), got into all of them, asked my dad to pick one for me, and he picked dental tech. He was ok with having kids when we got married, by time I realized how bad it was it was too late to start over with someone else plus the shared custody thing. It is certainly not something I thought about in the build-up to fatherhood! There is no doubt fatherhood is tough. As far as your feelings towards your ex. While my mom and stepdad kept my dad from seeing me as often as they could, my stepdad was working on me that, "see your dad doesn't care about you, if he did he would be here. But the fact remains that you helped create a child. I know he loves them, but loving a child and existing with them and not enriching their life in anyway is not parenting. I was forced to go to that barber shop. Being a dad clearly takes up a good chunk of time but I'm still able to have a social life, hobbies and a career. However, I’m in the process of applying for hospice jobs because I feel like it’d be more my cup of tea. Idk why parents think their kids are a gift to us. He isn't asking if life is good, but if to regret being born is justifiable. With my first, I would try to share my struggles with him. I was the "cooler" parent. Nope, not me. Share your knowledge! Don't micromanage her. children has a detrimental effect on youth. I legitimately like playing with wires and making things work. Jan 11, 2023 · Regret is a widespread feeling in life. I didn’t regret it per se, but I did miss being able to work as I love my profession. I said horrible things because my anger and negative problems overwhelmed me. Throughout the years I never knew and even my uncle let me live with the pain even though he knew because I confessed to him when I was a boy and upset. Reddit told me to have him in her life, which is what I did. Yes I do regret becoming a physio very much but I adapted and I think I made the best of it. Agreed,especially after reading some of the comments below,there are alot of changes when you become a parent, you don't actually regret having a kid,but changing your lifestyle and having to struggle to give your kids one that makes them happy. Sometimes, my mom was crying and telling my dad "It's too much" but my dad wasn't listening to her. I don’t regret being a step parent, I do regret how I reacted to certain things since the beginning and if I could go back I would have prioritized myself more but honestly I feel such immense love for my DH and the love I have for his kids is an extension of that. To manipulate anyone he makes victim of himself. You always get the were a "package deal ". Things were starting to get serious… I flew back to his hometown to meet his friends and family and he was supposed to meet my family this winter (they live 12 hours away). We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Rather than "Being Better", as he preaches to the boy, he gave into his anger, and his rage, and he perpetuated a cycle that he can't stomach. But there’s a difference between having regret and living in regret. As someone whose father was 40 when they had me, it’s not fun. That’s a big oof. It was difficult caring for him and a lot of times we lost our patience with him. I became a father at 14 (33yro). For me, I didn't really get those warm fuzzies of being a dad until just recently, and my 1st son is almost 2 now. Do you ever regret leaving? Do you think you can’t come back? It’s been 7 years this January. I don't feel like I'm as attentive and present as a working-dad. I now know, that it definitely is not. I regret not going to medical school or becoming a cop and having a really secure job for life. They even had a little father -daughter dance in the middle of the living room, there was also the bouquet toss from the 2nd floor. I (mom) was always closest to my son. He had several other health problems he was being treated for but when they found out it was because of cancer it was very late. I can only imagine the feeling. I don't regret for a moment having children. My mom is currently on her third husband. I went from living with my ex and the kids, to now having my two sons full time - my ex owes me over $10,000 in child support (she doesn’t pay a penny) she doesn’t ever take the kids or help raise them cause she moved… a part of me just wants to give my kids back to her and move but than the other part of me says I’ll regret it - I We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. As you explain it to him, you feel yourself reeling as TL:DR: The best way to honor your father is to call him out on his abusive nature because you are honoring him by telling him that you know he can be a better person. That being said, that was with the support of my wife which allowed me to have some much needed alone time outside of the house. My son realized that dad had life skills even if he didn't always have family skills, like teaching him the fine points of driving (I taught the basics). Prior to entering that church, I had been taught Using the word Regret associated with having children is such a taboo, and it shouldnt be, it is possible to regret having children, it doesnt mean that you do not love them. 10/10 would highly recommend. Imo you've completed step 1 of being a great dad being there. Now I get off early and skip tons of shit just to spend time with him. When I commit mistakes it is always "You're dumb or what? It is not enough what you're doing" but… Now I’m the asshole for changing my mind about being able to be a father. At this point a divorce would have been so much easier, it’s not like we get to do anything we enjoyed before the baby. Some don’t. Definitely would never say that one, but I just regret the choices I made. Between stress / drama with biological father, balancing time with each kid and the extra expenses every aspect of my life has taken a toll. Many of us have regrets. I know Im the main problem. My girlfriend is 17. Father walked her down the "aisle", we took pictures downtown. I have felt regret for a relationship with a father who isn't abusive and selfish. Vivian Jenna Wilson, the transgender daughter of Elon Musk, said Thursday in her first interview that he was an absent father who was cruel to her as a Then between around 5-11 absolutely no regret, loved motherhood because that was a very sweet spot, I left their dad who wasnt a great partner , found myself a wonderful one that made a huge difference, stopped being a martyr , learned to put myself first and stop this insanity of self sacrifice, etc etc etc. I firmly believe that most women don’t have a single damn thing wrong with them mentally, they just don’t have enough help. And if I'm being completely honest, sometimes I regret that I choose to be a father. When I was in the barber shop, I wasn't cutting hair or whatever. I much preferred being a SAHD than a working-dad. I don’t regret being a SAHM I regret bringing them into this shit storm of a divorce. He then passes when I was 17. Sleeping with him was on me and I do know that. I was already depressed since delivery. Raising decent human beings is hard work. I regret being an awful husband, a money-making machine. We are still together and we have a 3 month old son. I think our children deserve so much more than being a burden or a regret to their dad. I worry about money: Always. Even though what I stole was so little, the regret and shame is so much bigger. Anakin Skywalker is dead, but you ARE the boy's father. If I hadn't been born, I couldn't care either way. (like Asuka and her mother, mist and her father, or Ritsuko and her mother) we seee everyones child met except for shinji and gendo, that's because they are same person and it's about Gendo meeting his inner child, who is actually Shinji. My youth. Being a SAHD was one of the greatest joys of my life. Those thoughts of resentment towards the whole baby situation are dangerous though, and they can be tough to stifle. The only thing I regret was being medically retired at 10 years. You continue to explain your goals. "I bought a house a few years ago, and so many things have gone sideways. You allow yourself a small concession. 4 days ago · July 25, 2024, 4:30 PM PDT. One thing I regret is not being educated about permits. I'm not a parent so feel free to ignore me; However I was once a child. Even if I didn't want to go, my dad always forced me. Then I fell for a girl with a kid and we got married. I will NOT regret missing out on that. The perpetuation. We had another child, my only biological child, and I love her to pieces. 0 "I thought a child was a punishment on myself" meaning he thought having I've seen a lot of comments from people in this sub saying they do (even ones assuming that every AN regrets being born). It was pretty unpredictable, I felt like a shitty dad for the longest time due to a lack of experience and generally no manual on how to raise a kid. My father was raised with nannies, maids and a chauffeur. But I should've stayed in the army when they asked me to. So, in some ways, this makes me feel regret. It wasn't perfect but the good outweighed the bad. I didn't have a car so I just chilled in town. Mistakes and regrets come with the territory. I don't regret the job, but I regret sticking with my last company too long. Can’t put a price on your mental well being. " Trust me dude. I don't know why. Look at it from a different view. My parents fled my hometown with me and siblings when I was only 5. Sex life sucks, no going out, just more and more to make sure this child doesn’t grow up in the shitty single parent household I was raised on and We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. You're not going to suffer from the "golden handcuff" effect where you're trapped in a high paying legal job you hate because you desperately need the cash to pay off your loans. I had to buckle the heck up and get ready for this ride. I have a brother who wasn't done at birth and chose to have it done as an adult. They all told me to do it. I only took a couple hundred dollars. Women really really need to think being a SAHM through. I wish he had prepared more for his eventual passing. :/ My dad was very ill and I kept thinking once I match I’ll be closer and be able to help out a little bit financially for a few years—they could live on the small retirement they managed to save up for. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least. The industry will never give you a minute to just fucking think about your design. My father died in my fourth year, while I was living away and I didn’t match into a full specialty. " He will end up being a detriment to your mental health as well as academically. Try to not regret your past, because you can’t change your past. It brings this new type of love/perspective/empathy to your life unlikely anything else I've experienced. You just dont love being a parent. Two of us working together - father and son. So yeah I have regrets. Luke Skywalker is broken, anguished, reeling. You may regret the years of lost opportunity you spent in law school, but at least you won't regret the financial cost. ) that yelling at, slapping, hitting, shaming, etc. Problem solved. Gather yourself before you talk to her. To me, it sounds less like you regret being childfree as you regret not becoming involved with other people sooner. I love being a dad. Now she is a 60 year old woman cleaning houses and worrying daily about money. To an extent I regret it. I’m encouraging my kids not to have kids of their own. I just want to know what goes through the absent fathers head I don't regret it,I wouldn't have my daughter but yes I'm emotionally, financially and physically worse off. Fast forward 10 years and I learn that my dad who’s raised me isn’t actually my biological father. It left me with such a bitter feeling. Sep 16, 2019 · Professors Moore and Abetz then posed questions about parental regret, and searched the site for existing threads on the topic. If you do make the decision to move and feel regrets about it, I would strongly recommend finding a good therapist to help you work through your feelings and issues. “The siren: becoming the villains family”: A girl born as a siren, she grew up with a mother who was also a siren but was captured by her trash father, the father is trash as he abused fl and his wife frequently as he thought the fl couldn’t talk so she was considered useless, after the mother took her own life, fl was alone and I am a firm believer in being always flexible with your career plans. My biggest We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. At best I’d say if you want a kid it would be nice to have a very active dad physically. I hated it and dropped out after 1. My passions. As I was born, I'm just trying to make the best of it; I've chosen a life that I am not miserable in. Maybe one day if you do dip out you’ll regret all the wasted time. In terms of being a dad and having a daughter. His father and I separated, then divorced and it got even worse because that was his father's out. And I discovered how much I love being a dad. My husband thought that being a working mom was a piece of cake, until, when our kids were two & six, my father developed terminal cancer and only had a month or two left to live. 50% of marriages don’t make it so the odds were not in my favor. Being open with her means always being open to talking (although you may not feel comfortable, really just listen and do the best you can) and share your life. I regret little things I’ve done as a parent, like not being organized enough or taken enough videos, so I can’t imagine being capable of abandonment. I just get curious. In my neighborhood alone, there's a golf cart group where they fix up and resell tricked out carts, there's a Frisbee golf, regular golf, fishing, etc groups. . Edit: I also do not think your Father being a non-Christian is the issue. But if I could go back and stop it all from happening…there’s no chance in hell I’d stop it from happening. Not this guy. (Hard eyeroll) Like I said, all of the above and grandma had weekly A subreddit for parents who have decided or had the decision made for them to only have one child. Last time I did this, I explicitly said in the post "I can and do implement (obvious solution)," and of course the number one upvoted comment was "uh just do (obvious solution)?" Thanks guys, glad I shared. Never collected any benefits or child support and don’t plan to. I wish he had talked to me about what I would have to do, and kept a list of all the papers, etc. He has social media disappeared. I found out its not hard to get comfortable and realize one day "holy shit theres a TON I've never done or learned" and end up being a weak jman. Yes I certainly blame myself and am racked with regret and guilt. If you hate law, you can stop practicing. There's a part of me that regrets starting out so late in life because I feel like I'm going to have less years to spend with my kid, but I also think I would have been a pretty shitty parent in my 20's and 30's so. I don't want to discount your thoughts. And choose I did, my kids were planned but being a father has been a hugely negative experience for me, taken as a whole. really loved motherhood. It is NOT possible to have a "better" relationship with a narcissistic parent. 99% of the PPD/PPA posts I read on Reddit are the same. I always said I never wanted kids, or to get married, or any of that, and I now am married and have a kid, and I’m just not happy, not all the way there, ptsd episodes from both childhood and the military, and just severe depression, severe anxiety, bad adhd, and all of it is just rough right now. I didn't get that. But I have found a lot of people just hate being a parent to infants and as their children get more independent, that regret fades. I feel terrible that my kids have a dad that would rather be smoking weed and flipping through reddit than be with them. 5 years. My dad forced me to stay in that barber shop at least 4 hours per day. She needs to know you are there now. Personally, I don't regret being born. Context: In those days in my country military service was obligatory (after one finished ones studies) and I actually really liked it better than physio. Maybe regret not going some other route more. Jan 23, 2023 · Regrets dot the road of parenthood like billboards, displaying in big bold letters the things you should’ve done but didn’t. Then on a whim, I applied to nursing. I think being a medic is cool, and having young EMT’s lookup to me is cool. That's his guilt. I didn't want kids. But today, The father made clear wants nothing to do with me once I move closer to him after months of leading me on while pregnant and selling me false dreams. You may not want your ex to be in the babys life but that is that little girls father. (Hebrews 10:17, John 10:10, 2 Corinthians 5:17, John 14:16-17, John 14:21, John 14:27, Matthew 28:20) I have no regrets about following Jesus, but I regret not following Him close enough. I have his social if I really wanted to find him. It’s annoying that I can’t relate to him. Not being emotionally there for my son. No, I won't. I definitely regret nursing because I thought I’d be able to cope better knowing that it might be this stressful. I also left billable hours early in my career to go in-house, then moved to compliance/policy positions which are not 100% lawyer jobs but really are perfect for a lawyer. One thing I think that we as believers are not doing well enough is forgiving ourselves for past mistakes and leaving our burdens, regrets and shortcomings at the foot of the cross. Every time I have a moment of weakness and rant about something parenting-related on reddit, I regret it. If it’s a pay cut, so be it. The constant worry about him getting older is unpleasant. A few years ago my father died after months long fight with terminal. I regret letting my job take over my life. Being a single parent is hard but it will make you a stronger person. You are not responsible to " fix him. No playing, no gelling with other similar aged dads. I'm much more ambivalent about it. For real. Its the reason I got into this. My uncle, my father's brother, was the one who stole all the money. Also, don’t regret your decisions from your past, accept them and embrace them. It definitely changes you for the better, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Being much older than most of you on this sub, I have seen once-healthy fields shrivel away because of economic reasons (outsourcing) or cultural changes. Especially with me doing this alone. I’m now being reached out by the biological father and have learned he’s tried to connect with me ever since my parents fled. There was also a lot of active-parent blame in that same conversation, so, again, it’s a whole way of being for those who can walk away from a child. That being said, the chance of having biological children or children in general is near-none to none. That is your daughter man. Often times there are events that are detrimental instead of beneficial; however, I don't think anyone should have to regret their birth, no matter how unbelievably negative their life is. And then, being stupid, we kept it from Being a mom singlehandedly caused my last 2 relationships to end, and no matter what I do, whether it's get into a relationship, or be single will come back to bite me in the ass in some way (eg: being single won't ever show your kid what a healthy relationship between spouses looks like, but getting into a relationship can cause jealousy for I'll tell you this much man, I'm 26 now, my daughter was born when I was 22 and I did not have time to regret being a dad. If you regret it, then it is even more challenging! We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I wouldn’t have had kids. So I do not regret becoming a lawyer. I am 30 years old, still believe in God but honestly I regret becoming a Christian in my 20s. I was attending a very toxic church for 7 years and the people there didn't really live like how I expect Christians to live. I agree with others, you are being emotionally abused, love bombed, manipulated and he is controlling as hell. I love her so much, but I regret putting her in this position. My dad passed away last Friday, yesterday we said goodbye to him and it’s been terribly hard on us. Example, when finding a spouse, typically most of them would prefer to date non-believers. . It's about the hypocrisy of it all. My mum was a SAHM, once we were in our late teens my Dad divorced her, managed to not pay alimony for her (even though he has enough money, sometimes courts are that dumb). Best thing to do is win the lottery so you can do the programming projects you find interesting. I immediately flew down to be with him & my SM, leaving my children with their father. Parenthood isn't for some people. Itll be okay, one day at a time. I often fantasize about being the one that got out. I’ve forgiven my dad and I don’t just focus on the bad things he did to me anymore I only think about all the good times we had and when he was a pretty decent father to me Edit 4: also I do wanna tell you guys I did have a makeup Quince when I was in college, it wasn’t as grand as the one I was suppose to have but I really didn’t care Your happiness is very important too. While walking around, I saw my dad's van and thought "oh I'll go say hi!" But then I thought, "nah, I'm going to see him tomorrow anyway, he's probably busy". The experience can be one thing, and the love you have for them is something different, right? All I can say is that I am not a man so I left the decision up to my husband and a male pediatrician with the added input of both my father in law who had to be circumsized as a 14yr old and my father who was never done. My father was in his fifties when I was born. I was planning on making the Air Force a career. I think your honesty is really commendable. I just always fell out of place with my dad due to his age. That being said, most senior guys and gals say that this burnout period is just temporary and you’ll come out the other end with a clear mindset of what your regular rhythm and productivity is going to be for the rest of your career, you’ll have your career goals set for yourself, and you’ll start to enjoy the job again. My life consists of cleaning up urine, feces, vomit, food, trash (he loves to dig in the trash and scatter it Around the house). I admitted to a friend the other day that in my 10 years of being a Christian I have not gained a thing. I regret doing nothing with my energy, when I had it. My father’s side is old money that used it all up. For your own safety depending on how abusive he is you should do it through a letter or email. We were stupid, we were drunk, she got pregnant. My point is just because you don’t feel like being father now, doesn’t mean that won’t change in the future. You do NOT need his permission to break up with him. Thank you. God never intended for us to live in regret - the entire concept of forgiveness proves that. Regret breaking up with single dad… thoughts? I had a short term (6 month) relationship with a single dad that ended in late August. We all had lunch at a cozy little restaurants, then we were all invited back to her place and stayed until late at night, drinking and dancing. I may be misinterpreting what you've said, so correct me if I'm wrong. I was in town, going to college, but I went on the wrong day. Ideally this is accomplished through a combo of understanding and cooperation from dad (which sounds like it could be questionable at best), the help of a child and/or family therapist, and a schedule that eases kiddos into dad’s full time care gradually. The declaration has the desired effect. I always felt a specific regret the day my dad died. Those who found a Christian spouse would rather do online dating. This is absolutely something I would have done as a kid, but there's a 0% chance that I would think to add it now as an adult trying to mimic a kid. I've even seen a handful of cases where BOTH the legal father AND the biological father were on the hook for child support payments. So no, I don't regret being a step-parent because I don't consider myself to be a step-parent. He promised us forgiveness of sins, eternal life, to make us new, to pray that the Father would send us the Comforter, love, peace and to always be with us. Yeah. So I'm a father of two (ages 4 and 6) so obviously I'm not fence sitter. When I found out…I threw up violently. being a first time father, I have handled this situation poorly and though my son is not using the pody when he is about to turn 5. My husband has admitted that while he loves our 3 year old, he really hates being a father and that he is basically going… I doubt his regret is Zeus's death. I don't think you're necessarily an AH because of this. 20 hours ago · Savings: Can’t really save but put aside $10 per week towards hairdresser. Being a damn emotionless wallet. The mom is overwhelmed and the dad isn’t fucking pulling their weight and they have no outside support. And being tied to someone who hates you for the rest of your life isn’t fun. He doesn't see that he does anything wrong. There is only one person that can hold you back from being a great dad and thats yourself. I don't regret being a programmer, but I do regret the jerks I've had to work for over the years. But idk if I regret being a medic specifically. It doesn't happen often, but iirc the legal process for getting *off* the hook as the legal father is a pain in the ass and expensive to do, and isn't a guarantee that the courts will let him off the hook. That being said, later in life when they're an adult, I hope they see the effort you put in to be such a caring parent. I watched my parents divorce when I was 7, my mom cheated on my father and I watched my father live without a partner for over ten years. This space is here to freely discuss and offer support for the specific challenges, unique parenting perspectives, and judgement we face from society or sometimes our own family because of our decision to only have one child. just remember when the baby gets here whatever illwill you have towards him you would best put aside for a positive coparenting relationship. Dad couldn't really relate to son until son was older, around 16. The experience of being a father made me realize how absolutely dysfunctional parents were - from the dawn of history until Gen-X’ers and Millennials figured out (through science, medicine, technology, etc. He barely helps me. Not many of us have a regret quite as large as regretting fatherhood. I know what a relationship with my father will be like. I also became a full-firm SAHP when our daughter was born. No. My dad had a stroke 2 years ago and he was never the same. ha sv vf my hv fi gl dc ka zl