Avoiding eye contact reddit It was more of an automatic reaction. Been married 31 years now. This makes me feel isolated and unwelcome. It was dehumanizing and degrading. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our FAQ and Resource List. Instead do it to seek understanding. There is this girl and she refuses to make eye contact. However, heres my advice - some people on the internet seem to over-complicate eye contact, and talk about how you should break eye contact every 20 seconds, or 1/4 of the conversation to avoid making people feel uncomfortable. Both times we kinda just locked eyes for a moment or two eye contact = extremely stimulating so sometimes it's avoiding eye contact of loved ones because it would open up too much of a portal, other times it's actively trying to make "accidental" fleeting eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk just for the rush Most people make eye contact, and a large percentage of those will nod or smile at me. If I look someone in the eye I immediately feel as if they're about to accuse me of something, as if I lied, as if they think I did, I feel intimidated, I laugh, I feel ridiculously embarrassed for no reason, I just fee That is exactly why some people avoid eye contact. Regarding what you said, I'd think the opposite is the case. I was told years back that you had to make eye contact with people or they would, at best, not take you seriously and at worst, see you as vulnerable. That is both the reason spectrum people avoid eye contact, and the reason people notice that so much about us. Use the 80/20 rule. I struggle with it a lot and have to make a very conscious effort to maintain it. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. I find that with strangers or important conversations I make a point of making eye Avoiding eye contact is a fear response. Try to talk to her more and be around her, without overwhelming her. That goes for both men and women. This woman in my office, she always had eyes on me wherever i went. It all depends on the circumstances, but if you are for example in a bar and there is a girl smiling at you, looking back into her eyes and smiling at her initiates something. It might have desensitized to some degree but Literally the only eye contact I made for 2 1/2 years was with those that starved me, beat me, molested me or verbally abused me. A place for introverts. Do not bully or harass other users. It's clear that he's interested in you. I think I look my family in the eye more, that's probably why they didn't notice. LGBTQ+ are welcome :) We also have a Discord server. It's really stressful. If you have any questions, please send the mods a message. " *eye contact, slight smile, slight head nod* *They may or may not have actually looked back at me* This is the official community for Genshin Impact (原神), the latest open-world action RPG from HoYoverse. Maybe your twin might not find it particularly comfortable either. Anyway, I need a man's perspective on this. Do you have anxiety about talking to people, or talking to new people? Personally it depends on the situation. I don't like that much eye contact. Also the directness and ease of socializing around better know people as opposed to OP has me leaning towards introverted autistic person, not just introverted. Check out the trees for a second and try again. it was in passing and i was leaving but when i caught them, i did a double take and he was smiling at me. if you just stare into someone’s eyes the whole time you look way more strange than someone you never looked into the person’s eye. i even did this with some boyfriends i used to If someone draws a boundary by expressing they don't like eye contact then respect that, but by default there's nothing wrong with making eye contact with people. avoiding eye contact I don't know if this is just me, a pretty normal occurrence, or even an ADHD thing at all, but whenever someone is talking directly to me (most of the time it's a teacher, sometimes a friend) I cannot ever focus on what they're saying unless I avert eye contact lol. " *slight smile* "shit, they're not looking. If you stare at a strange dog, for example, expect it Professionally & socially I avoid eye contact for the reasons already mentioned. If your forced yourself to make eye contact when you were trying to think, you'd find it pretty uncomfortable and distracting. Sounds like he's got feelings. I'd say that for many of us, eye contact doesn't immediately seem painful or uncomfortable but that's only because we're actually not making much eye contact to begin with and people just aren't saying anything because they're trying to be polite. Like Avoids it at all costs except for once when maybe I looked into her eyes a little too long. It makes ME really uncomfortable when people avoid eye contact with me. Ask my wife, she almost had to hit me over the head with a stick to get my attention. We don’t feel comfortable with eye contact and I have to make an effort to do it. hey i used to be exactly like this. From Simon Baron-Cohen I understood the theory of mind is a problem for NDs which includes emotions among other things. We held eyes for 4-5 seconds for no reason, smiled at each other, greeted, etc. 5. This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. It could mean he is ashamed of something. Instagram posts and stuff show babies really staring into mother's or people's eyes all the time. In Brazil men will kind of try to make eye contact, No, it's just extremely Follow reddit rules. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our sister subs. The second day here they came up to me and talked to me and everything was fine, we did activities together, drinking together and even go swimming in the pool of the hotel but today i notice that one of them doesn‘t look me in the eye anymore when she talks to me. And how people with various conditions react differently to eye contact. Look at peoples face and eyes to see what emotions they’re portraying along with what they’re saying because you want to understand them. 4. One when I was stretching my shoulders another well. I would rather them look away, Do women give intense eye contact with guys they aren’t attracted to? Why do some guys avoid certain women after entering a serious relationship? For what reasons would a man purposely avoid looking at a woman? People try desperately to keep eye contact with me because I have a very large chest, and it's distracting even to women. In many parts of "the West," it is an ages-old tradition, habit, and expectation. When I used to live on a coast (of the US), avoidance of eye contact was the norm. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling for me, but that might be from personal trauma/anxiety. Some people just take time to be comfortable making eye contact. If you are attractive, they are most likely avoiding eye You’ve formed a negative assumption that you apply to all your interactions, and this is going to continuously affirm your assumption that everyone is avoiding eye contact, because thats how brains work. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Ever since my childhood, I remember avoiding eye contact as a means to avoid anxiety originating from unwanted excitation in the brain. If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or Avoiding eye contact probably means he's shy and indeed likes you. Since eye contact wasn’t my natural inclination, when a situation would get uncomfortable I would inherently avoid eye contact in order to try to feel more comfortable/gain some semblance of control. Same with not seeing someone for a while, you feel awkward at first so you naturally avoid eye contact. but ideally you make eye contact for a few seconds, then look away for a bit and then eye contact again. They’re usually moving away as well. Especially when talking, eye contact is very Check "Community Info" in the top right corner if you're using the app, or use the old version of reddit by typing "old" in place of "www" into the URL and look at the top of the sidebar if you're on desktop. There are other reasons, too. I assumed I made her uncomfortable or nervous, but she says I don't. And avoiding eye contact is a common trait among autistic people. What does avoiding eye contact mean? So I've been friends with this girl for a while and now I'm interested in her, but whenever I hug her or try to talk when we're close she completely avoids eye contact, which is weird because when I ask her things from desk to desk distance in class she does look at me in the eye. "Make eye contact, slight smile. People who will not make eye contact are often viewed as untrustworthy, suspect, odd, and so on. Try to ascertain the kind (afraid because attracted, afraid because of office politics, simply intimidated) and degree (habitually avoids eye contact, only avoids in certain situations, only avoids with you). Although it was years ago, the hug is a good indicator that she isn't creeped out by you. 155K subscribers in the aspergers community. Its The first little contact you make with humans, and while its from a safe distance you can eys everyone, you know that. People try desperately to keep eye contact with me because I have a very large chest, and it's distracting even to women. The lack of that will 'feel bad' in a conversation. Yeah, I agree. didn’t see him again tho :( TL;DR Anyone else have problems with eye contact and is that related to ADHD? Anyone struggle with this? I have the hardest time with it. Avoiding eye contact appears to me as if avoiding of being exposed. Dogs avoid eye contact as a way to signal non-threatening behavior so odds are he's basically telling you to chill because your body language or voice is coming across as too aggressive for no reason. Don't wanna be a creep, don't wanna end up in HR, & don't wanna be "my eyes are up here" guy of the group. Also as dudes most of the time we are not very good at picking upon queues. One of the theories behind it, as I understand it, is that where a client looks is important. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulernability. One study on people with ASD and how they experience eye contact found that the act of eye contact itself triggers higher rates of activity along the subcortical pathway than is seen with Avoiding eye contact is a submissive action, so we may subconsciously do it in order to avoid conflict. and the weird facial expressions that come with avoiding eye contact. I am getting very worried. He goes from eye-contact to avoiding-eye contact within a week, and it's making me confused whether or not he still likes me, yet I'm positive he still does. We’ve made eye contact a few times in awkward situations. If I'm on a collision course with someone I'll make eye contact with them as I lean one way or the other. Eyes show inner working of a person and I pick up a lot of info from them. It is perhaps my BS detector is too active. He talks a lot about body language. The game features a massive, gorgeous map, an elaborate elemental combat system, engaging storyline & characters, co-op game mode, soothing soundtrack, and much more for you to explore! I(23M) usually avoid eye contact with people. It means some, but little. It might also just be a thing she isn’t great at in general, I have adhd and sometimes eye contact distracts my train of thought lol People may or may not notice, but this is a sign of Social Anxiety. Posted by u/Zee-4203 - No votes and 3 comments Most times you go from eye contact to looking upward like you're reaching for a thought or idea, or shifting focus off the person and nodding in acknowledgment or agreement. My ability to maintain eye contact becomes even worse with stress, that’s where it stars to feel painful to maintain eye contact. Check "Community Info" in the top right corner if you're using the app, or use the old version of reddit by typing "old" in place of "www" into the URL and look at the top of the sidebar if you're on desktop. In fact, I wrote about my experience with TF & eye contact in a reply to another post a while ago, so feel free to check that out for more insight, if interested. " *looks at the ground. I will meet their eyes intermittently, as and when it naturally happens. to be honest, it’s about intermittent eye contact. 80% looking around and 20% making eye contact. The majority of reddit is still US/European, it's safe to assume I was referring to that part of the world. Your dog avoiding eye contact is not necessarily a sign of fear, especially if he still follows you around all the time. I'm a guy and find it hard to make eye contact with my crush, I have to force myself to do it. The only time you maintain eye contact and don't break it is when you are receiving instruction or command from an authority figure. And I found a lot of information on reddit and youtube about eye contact. Let’s first tackle those before we can dig into social anxiety. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Like, if I'm about to cut in front of someone, I'll make eye contact with them as I start to move in front of them. Be it strangers or known persons, I tend to look down avoiding any eye contact. If you are particularly attractive, this is going to keep happening to you. Some say if they look to the side they aren't interested, and if they look down they are interested You either creep her out or she likes you. I have developed an understanding of what people's body language means, even if they are trying to hide what they are really thinking. Sometimes I catch her staring sometimes I think she is staring at me, caught her a few times. What parts of the brain are engaged in eye contact. i am listening to what they’re saying most of the time but i’ll literally turn my head and look around the room while they’re talking which has made people think i’m rude and uninterested which is understandable but i can’t help it. They're too far. She did the days before hold eye Welcome to r/TalkTherapy!. I tend to make eye contact with people (unless I'm having a super crabby day). I have moments on the tube or on the street where I keep eye contact with a person until they look away. 16 votes, 12 comments. I simply cannot form a coherent thought while trying to focus on making eye contact, even with my partner. The downside to this is its considered a sign of weakness, and can cause conflict with certain people. Eye contact carries a lot of weight in American culture and in most cultures. I am a female in the US and here lately, when I am at a store or something and man is walking toward me (down an isle or something), it is like is making a visible effort to hold his head straight and not make any eye contact with me at all. Could easily be an anxiety response — not necessarily in a bad way. If someone is talking to you make eye contact about 80% of the time and spend about 20% looking elsewhere (their hands, body language, etc. I noticed he was avoiding eye contact like strangely a lot but still keeping his cool as he spoke to me about whatever. Being nervous around a new person you’re into is normal. Sounds like he doesn't know what to do with them or doesn't think you like him back or is too scared to make a move or is worried about it looking creepy or any other of a thousand things that he could be thinking or feeling. Avoiding eye contact and acting bitchy is first of all very feminine and second of all shows her that you are insecure. I've encountered people who don't like making eye contact in the workplace, and the reasons they avoid eve contact are the following: (1) they have social anxiety tendencies so they avoid eye contact; (2) they exhibit anti-social tendencies so they Just to add a different perspective - I live in NYC, and I use eye contact mainly in a "pedestrian blinker" sort of way. And googling about it hasn't helped either. I’ll look initially when speaking but I quickly find other things to throw my eyes at. r/Crushes is a safe place for people to talk about their crushes and ask for advice. Do you have anxiety about talking to people, or Context: in group conversations (more than 3 people including me) people almost never make eye contact with me. looks back* "Alright, show time. I feel self-conscious about the eye contact with my primary therapist, in part because of how not being able to hold eye contact was used by people to invalidate my experiences. If you have any kind of "eye contact rule" whatsoever, you're overthinking, and that's weird. had me warm all over the rest of that day. ) I keep making eye contact because I don’t know how to react. 1. For the most part eye contact feels too intimate. I’ve been avoiding eye contact with my crush ever since I realized I liked him Check "Community Info" in the top right corner if you're using the app, or use the old version of reddit by typing "old" in place of "www" into the URL and look at the top of the sidebar if you're on desktop. ) If you are talking to them, switch it around. She was bending over and turned back and saw me looking sadly lol. I find this thing very harmful for the future as it shows the lack of self confidence. He then smiles and coos as well sometimes. Didn't have to do with my twin specifically tho, I find maintaining eye contact uncomfortable in general. If we were caught making eye contact with other students we were faced with any number of harsh punishments including being forced to wear blinders (yes, like a horse). For many mammals eye contact with strangers is a sign of intimacy or aggression, which makes prolonged eye contact quite exhilarating. Men are direct people, for the most part. Eye contact is something our brains use to build emotional and social connections to people. and it annoys me when people pause the convo Avoiding eye contact all of a sudden after intense stare game for 4 months. 6. At least that is what I was doing. Use eye contact to emphasise the important parts of what you're saying. So women are naturally looking for men, and you Do for women, so you seek each others eyes and check each other out. I get the same cringe as if I walked in on them on the toilet or saw them inappropriately TL;DR-- Guy I dated in January is suddenly avoiding-eye contact with me when we hang out with a mutual friend who was with us a lot when we dated. In 1/1 There are ways to tell if someone is listening to you, and there are ways to signal that you are listening, that aren't eye contact. So I started making eye contact; like, the real deal, not just looking in the general direction of the other person's face. I was always trying to distance myself from people because of my insecurities by avoiding eye contact, physical contact, calling someone by their name, speaking loudly, etc. i would absolutely under any circumstances refuse to make eye contact with anybody while talking to them because it made me feel vulnerable. She has called me her friend and things like that. every day. A community for people affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder How common is it for a bartender to only make eye contact with a customer and say that’s them checking on them/asking if they need another? I felt like I was getting passed over and finally said something, she said “I’ve made eye contact with you like 20 times. I generally avoid eye contact at all times. Virtually nobody would It is just that I feel like the reason why I am avoiding eye contact is that I do not like what I am seeing, feeling, hearing most of the time. . Sow there's this girl (22F) I've (21M) been talking to for a few weeks and everytime we're in a group chat she avoids eye contact with me, she Avoiding eye contact When I speak with people, females in particular, that they will look away when talking to me some are smiling some are not. ), sending a message (stop staring at me), to just engaging socially. i have adhd and one of my big problems is not being able to maintain eye contact while talking to someone. Posted by u/abam86 - 2 votes and 3 comments Eye contact is uncomfortable for a lot of people. There are ways to tell if someone is listening to you, and there are ways to signal that you are listening, that aren't eye contact. I'm not going to put a 'Might not apply to all cultures' disclaimer in every single post. I would rather them look away, so there are all kinds of reasons people act funny or weird. Sometimes we make eye contact and they look away asap. If you're talking to them then it is most likely they do notice. Check the r/introvert Rules and FAQ before posting. Small things like those really make a difference and some people with issues like me run away from them because we are not Girls avoiding Eye Contact I've noticed when I'm in a group, girls don't often make eye contact with me, so if it's a new situation and I'm interested in getting to know or flirt with any of the people there, it's really discouraging and makes me feel that they think I'm ugly or invisible or something. He also seems to make eye contact only sometimes during the day. i would say that anyone who is worth having around will understand you and respect what Eye contact is powerful and often times, it can be a lot of pressure. r/AskReddit. Anyone else constantly avoid eye contact, like that little bit of basic trust in people i avoid it completely, now I'm in Amsterdam working on it, just taking on and off my sunglasses whenever i feel like I've looked at people too much, other times take time off from it in an alley, just smoking alone, at crowded places it's the worst, eyes everywhere, so it's sunglasses plus earphones 🎧 In Stockholm, when I walk by men on the street, it's almost like they're avoiding eye contact with me. Girls avoiding Eye Contact I Need Advice I've noticed when I'm in a group, girls don't often make eye contact with me, so if it's a new situation and I'm interested in getting to know or flirt with any of the people there, it's really discouraging and makes caught this really cute guy’s eyes at the gym on me once. Like breaking a taboo. If he is avoiding eye contact and such. You may be so beautiful that it's distracting to people, and they don't want to stare. Now that I live in the midwest, eye contact is pretty common (not everyone does it, but it's certainly not an unusual event). Related Reddit Ask Online community Social media Mobile app Meta/Reddit Website Information & communications technology Technology forward back. Personally,I like eye contact but I don’t always like the politics of it. All mammals (to my knowledge) use direct eye contact with strangers to communicate some form of confrontation. The friendlier part of Reddit. You end up with these really weird private interactions that for some reason feel thrilling. So he's avoiding eye contact and fidgety? Sounds nervous. heck, the whole week. ( My mind is still loading lol ) Sometimes I avoid eye contact because I'm feeling overwhelmed with something like "sensory overload" (probably not the severity you get with autism, but don't know what else to call it) and eye contact makes me more aware of the presence I'm bad at eye contact but noone noticed until I was an adult. However his shy nature is stopping him from ever I read this book "Power of Attachment" and on DA exercises there is one about imagining doing Eye Contact with people close to you. I went to Los Angeles last year for a few weeks and jogged each evening along Manhattan Beach. Im on a vacation and two girls from my hometown were on the same plane as me. If you avoid eye contact as me, have you discovered the reason for it? It's very likely that she is into you, but gets way too nervous to look you in the eyes. You are just going to have to be 984K subscribers in the introvert community. ) You look interesting so I continue having eye contact with you and eventually look at something else. My baby is 2 months and 23 days. Often times that can make it hard for me to focus on the conversation itself because I'm just so focused on making eye contact. If you have any kind of "eye contact rule" He's avoiding eye contact because he's the shy type and doesn't want his feelings to show. There are plenty of reasons to make eye contact from assessing someone's attitude toward you (hostile, friendly, etc. That's weird. ) I’m thinking and haven’t realized I’m making eye contact with you and eventually looking away once I snap back into reality. Why people break eye contact. ” I wonder if this is a location thing. " "Wait, not yet. I don't have problems for keeping eye Given the benefits of making eye contact, why do people avoid it when they shouldn’t? The biggest reason is social anxiety. I am sure that my amygdala was overactive in my childhood. I'm also not diagnosed with anything. I went to AskMen but it kept kicking it out. i did it both because i have anxiety and also because i have a slight lazy eye which i’m super self conscious about. I will look at his eyes very easily, but I need to look away to form a thought or deliver any idea. The more eye contact you make over time The better your chances Don’t make eye contact just for the sake of it. did the glance once then glance a second time thing and shyly smiled back at him. ccnciop aaiwrzt drvjvu oiofqmu imbxshy spcp jexx tsl ihz rtltkyz rqsp imkad lcfe rtkawxfp stg